Acceptance

It seems like some days you just feel horrible and others seem to have a nice glow to them. What is interesting though is that it doesn’t always seem to have anything to do with the events that occur, but the thoughts that are going on inside our heads. Yesterday for example, I felt like the day was never going to end and I just couldn’t wait to finish my classes. I was getting anxious sitting there, having to focus, and time seemed to pass much slower than usual. The day itself was like any other, the only difference was me. This is a pretty normal experience, but what it really means is:

How we feel depends not on the events of the day themselves, but how we choose to respond to them

Really this is a simply idea. I wake up in the morning and from that moment on there are infinite choices that I must make throughout the day that add up to my total experience of it. The present moment is always changing, always creating new situations and circumstances. I find that in my own life when I feel the worst is when I am resisting things as they are. I want to be doing something different, be somewhere else, or be with a different person. This is one important choice we make each moment:

1) Accept the moment
2) Resist the moment

Whatever it is thats bothers us in the moment is either within our power to change or not. If it isn’t, then why bother stressing over it? It’s like that saying “what you resist persists”. If I struggle against something it will push back stronger. If I am able to accept something, it will either continue without bothering me or it may even change on its own. From a place of acceptance I can make the effort to make the changes that I want with no attachment to results. At that point it doesn’t really matter because I am at peace already.

Why is it so hard to accept things? I think that for me I often get a sense of satisfaction from thinking that I am right. If only things were the way I think they should be then everything would be perfect. This is an extremely arrogant attitude when I think about it, but one that many people have at times. I also think that acceptance is often mistaken for weakness. Our society teaches us to go for what we want and never give up until we get it. Everything is a battle, a fight to be won. The war against cancer, war against drugs, war against obesity. These kinds of attitudes just add fuel to the fire. Acceptance doesn’t mean we can’t try to change things, but trying to make that change from a place of anxiety and desperation is not the most effective way.

Just think of those people who just seem to flow through the day without being bothered by everything going on around them. Not those who suppress it and say they are okay, but those who are truly at peace and don’t seem to put up a fight against everything. That is how I strive to be.

Beliefs and Self-Identity

People have a tendency to be very attached to their beliefs, which has been the cause of much conflict and suffering. It is seems absurd writing about my belief that beliefs are meaningless, but I’ll go for it anyways. Why must it be so difficult to understand that we need not always prove that we are right, and come to understand that everybody is acting based on what they believe to be right, which is no more or less valid than our own belief?

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS RIGHT AND WRONG. WE MAKE IT UP AS WE GO ALONG

At first the idea seems arrogant, even selfish. Who are we to decide the rules of life? Who are we to know what is best for ourselves? But the reality of things is…there really IS no set definition of what is right or wrong. It is something we learn from families, our culture and our laws. We are in many cases following blindly instead of thinking for ourselves and realizing that some of the things we take for granted are completely absurd. Things that were illegal years ago are now accepted, like women voting. Other things that used to be acceptable are now looked upon with disgust, like slavery. Who is to say we have hit the end of the road and the laws we follow today will be with us until the end of time?

It is all completely a matter of perspective. People’s experiences create certain beliefs and a set of values that they will live by. These beliefs then filter our perception of the world in a way that can support our beliefs. So lets say my belief is that the world is a dangerous place. My mind will tend to notice events to confirm this belief and so reinforce it. This cycle can continue leaving you very narrow-sighted. Believing the world is a peaceful place will create a completely different experience of it. Which belief should be deciding what is right and wrong?

Beliefs and Self-Identity

Our ideas of right and wrong are based on our beliefs, which as I said often have less depth than we may think. This is my belief as well, which came to me from books I’ve read, people I’ve spoken to, personal experiences, etc. How can this have anything to do with who I am, if it is simply a product of my experiences? Another person may have stumbled upon different books and different people and come up with completely different beliefs. So basically we’re bouncing around like ping pong balls picking up information here and there to internalize it and say “this is who I am”. This is not who we are.

Who are we then?

We are spiritual beings. There is no “I am this” or “I am that”. There is only “I am”. Nothing external can define us. We feel the need to define ourselves by our ideas and beliefs, but this is all part of physical realm which is not our true reality. Underlying everything we see and think exists a realm of spirit where we are untouched by the daily turmoil of everyday life. This is who we are. This part of ourselves can’t be harmed in any way.

I believe life is about getting closer and closer to this aspect of ourselves. Too bad I don’t believe in beliefs….

Meditation 101

Meditation has been one of the greatest gifts that I’ve been able to incorporate into my life. I tend to be a pretty anxious person and meditating has been one of the tools that I’ve been using to overcome stress. I’m not an expert by far but I’ve been doing it enough to see that it provides results and is something that everybody can do.

The biggest excuse I hear for not meditating is that they don’t have the patience. This is the whole point…if one was able to sit in silence and focus their attention on something for long periods already then nobody would need to meditate. Our minds are constantly filled with useless thoughts that cause us stress and suffering because we are unable to tune out from the constant noise. It’s really ridiculous when you think about it. No matter where we go, the mind continues to ramble on offering us little reprieve. This is where meditation comes in.

Personally I don’t think the technique matters that much. There as so many and its up to the individual what works for them. Really its not about finding the perfect technique, it’s about PRACTICE. Consistency is key, and I strongly believe that if you pick a technique and stick with it then the benefits will come. There’s different ways like focusing on the breath, repeating a mantra, visualization, using recorded guided meditation, so there is something for every taste.

For my own meditation practice, I sit cross-legged with my eyes closed using pillows to get comfortable. I try to focus all attention on my breath. The feeling of it passing through my nostrils, the feeling of my chest going in and out. Thoughts continue to come but the goal is to return your attention to the breathing whenever you notice that you are drifting off. No matter how many times you drift off, do not get discouraged. You can literally get distracted every 2 seconds. It doesn’t matter. This is the point you can build from and gradually be able to focus for longer periods of time. I am still continuously distracted but I stop myself from seeing this as failure and just continue on once I notice.

People talk about seeing lights and all this nonsense, which may be true for them I suppose but meditation was never a light show for me. I try to get that feeling of serenity, even if it lasts only a few seconds, where I’m not a victim of my mind. The great thing is that as one practices more and more, the benefits get greater and greater. It’s not like a mind altering substance that you build up a tolerance to, but a practice that can grow with you and evolve over time. Most people are looking for ways to feel better in all the wrong places, when learning how to control the mind can literally affect how one feels in all aspects of their life. I like to think of it as a general tonic that is good for any sort of mental or emotional suffering.

All it takes is a bit of effort to start, and once you begin to feel the benefits you will never want to give this up. Whatever time you can manage to fit in, it will be worth it. I try to do it early in the morning but often I’ll have to wait until night before I am able to. The key is to make this a daily habit. I’m sure meditating only in times of crisis can bring relief as well, but I want this to make me feel better everyday and prevent extreme situations from happening in the first place.

Good luck to anybody who decides to give it a try, it’s a beautiful thing.

The Secret

My intention is for this site to evolve into whatever it is meant to. I don’t really know what the purpose of this site will be, but I’m hoping that will become clear as time goes on. At the least, it will hopefully be somewhere I can express myself and where interesting discussions can take place. Actually maybe the very least I should hope for is that this not be my one and only post and that I don’t then I forget about this whole thing.

The theme that interests me most has to do with spiritual growth and how we can achieve it. I don’t claim to be some spiritual guru or anything like that. I’m far from perfect but have an interest in growing in ways that can bring peace to myself and make me helpful to those around me. The world is far from ideal and I think it is at the level of our consciousness that things can change.

I just watched the movie “The Secret” yesterday. I wonder if using pirated videos off the internet is okay if they are spiritual? Anyways, I thought it was really great. I was falling asleep by the end only because of exhaustion not because of boredom, and I recommend this film to anybody who feels they lack control in their daily lives. I was kind of hesitant at first because I thought it might be some popular fad for a while, which it may be, but I did feel some sort of inspiration by the end of it.

The theme has to do with our thoughts and feelings being magnetic, so that what we are thinking and feeling is what we will attract into our own lives. This goes against the popular belief that our thoughts/feelings are dependent on our external circumstances, so if this is actually true I suppose it is quite an important thing to be aware of, no? One example from the film was from a man who cut out a picture of a beautiful house from a magazine and his intention was to live in a place like that. So he would focus on the picture, imagine himself living there, how he would feel, how he would be thinking. The point was to act as if you did already have what you want, and it will manifest in your reality. If you act as if you want it, then the universe will reflect back the “wantingness” of it, instead of the “having” of it. So he went on with this and eventually did end up in a house similar to the one he had strived for. What was most amazing though, was that later on when he looked back at the picture he was using to inspire him, he saw that he was actually in that very house. It wasn’t a similar one, it was the actual house that was in the picture. That seems pretty amazing.

I think this idea is a beautiful philosophy, and I hope to test it out. If this truly is the way the universe works, then I guess the most difficult part is training ourselves to be able to think in ways that create what we desire instead of creating the experience of wanting it. But if you look around there are certainly people who have ambition and seem to make it while others struggle for everything they get. Could this be the difference, instead of bad luck?

The film did tend to have a slightly materialistic focus, on achieving wealth/success. It did, however, say that this is a result of positive feelings/thoughts, not the cause of them. Still, it is tempting to try to materialize a winning lottery ticket….